Do I look like I give a d@mn?

This is my wtf rant, keeping them coming comin'- on the rocks, no chaser.

1) Look at my face, my pretty gorgeous face, and ask me if I look like I care that you got some Bathin' Apes?!?!

Like OMG, IDK Soldja Boi! That song is so oily and disturbing that I literally have a pimple because of it. I would take a picture, but I ain't trying to go there. WTF were you thinking? This song should be burned... in hell, forever. The original lyrics should be shredded and fed to goats in a field.

Anyone who purchases these shoes because of this song, is not the business. I hope they have holes in the bottom of their shoes by the end of the week so they can feel just as stupid and drugged up as I feel after I listen to that song in it's entirety. Someone should kick them in their booty meat. Ewwwww!

2) Look at me, do I look like I care about your ego, pride, or the possibility of your embarrassment?!?!?

Men, if you have an STD, please tell your girl. Or should someone hit you up with a lawsuit for reckless endangerment? I declare I am going to scream if I hear another story about a negroid accidentally giving his girl an STD. WTF accidental? You knew you had it way back when so don't get mad if you sleep with her the second time and she smell a lil' different. That was your bad. Your bad, your bad.

Don't get mad if she look at you with the cock eye for no reason one day. And if she asks you if there was even a possibility that it could have been you, MAN THE FREAK UP and tell her, yes it was me. Matter of fact, don't wait for her to ask, let her know immediately. There should be no question- by the time penis hits vagina, there should be no unsolved mysteries.

And men and women and brethren, that is what foreplay is for (not that I condone per martial anything, I'm just saying) you should be inspecting for anything that could possibly be out of place, please don't get it twisted. As for the song called *Smell your D*ck,* if you gotta ask your man to smell it, chances are he ain't doing you right and that he triflin' for coming home at 2 am with the smelly balls sensation.

Same goes for females.

3)Check out the wrinkle in my forehead as I try to understand your outfit!!!

Everybody is not a fashionista. Just because you walking around on campus all bright with three different oranges on does not mean it's an outfit. You are supposed to be stopping traffic and not directing it or signaling planes or something. And I hope that your clothes fit!

4)As I breathe a heavy sigh and throw my hands to Heaven:

As for the prophecy that the world will end in 2012- uhm, ok. Then they say the Nephalim are coming back and some other stuff too... There are so many prophecies that must be fulfilled that I wonder how are all of them will in a matter of 5 years... Matter of fact, while you trippin' if Obama is elected president, I'm going to live in a cave because obviously it's about to be some stuff going down on the world front anyway. I'm just saying. (You got my vote black man).

5)Look at me as I cry about the state of the world and televangelists.

The IRS is finally investigating these folks. Now I admit, TD Jakes got his business on the side, ain't mad at that, you gotta hustle to stay alive. However he also said that some Christians should be in first class and some in coach - am I not good enough to sit next to your four hundred dollar shoes Mr. Jakes? I mean, I am trying to be a televangelist too so I can drive an imported Jaguar and get a house in the Hills with an indoor movie theater and skating rink. And y'all keep saying that I gotta surround myself with the people who are doing what I want and going where I am trying to go, can I sit next to you - can you buy me a ticket, that's the better question. It was said that they were giving each other gifts in order to hide the funds of the church. Lord have mercy for them hustling in the House, that's why Jesus turned them tables over!

Do I look like I care that it's cold outside? This is why I'm hot.

'Tis All.