Alter Egos ` Part Deux

So...Phoenix Rayne in pants...anybody who grew up with me during this time period pretty much knows about that craziness. Sneaking out, being accused of stealing cars, hanging out with people who stole cars and carried weapons that I can't mention just in case, perfecting hiding weaponry in weaves and so forth, finding inconvenient ways to get the attention she thought she deserved, et cetera.

All that to say, there comes a time when your alter ego has to either disappear or merge into who you are (short of schizo), to help to to grow and understand life in a different way. That it is a defense mechanism, a way to protect you from some unseen emotion or conviction. Being able to say that you as an alter ego did something is almost like a subconscious justification for the action to the dominant personality. Like an actor on stage, the vulnerability factor goes through the roof for both the actor and the character, but at the end of the day, the actor can say 'I didn't do this action b/c the character wouldn't have done it'. With an alter, you can assume the character and assume the world is the stage, but it only works if there are other players - and if you are able to shed that character at the end of the scene.

But my alter ego still lives a little, and if I drink she sometimes has an accent. Every once in a while, I will throw caution to the wind and just live (that's what wigs are for). But, as you get older, you don't have the same safety nets that you do when you are younger. If you slash a tire now, you might actually catch a case if someone sees you do it. If you have that hot passionate sex with a total stranger, you might be assassinated. If you fight at the club, your @$$ might just go to jail. If you fall in love, you may have your heart broken without a repairman nearby to fix it...or a sponsor... ;-p

So the moral of this story, live life without regrets, accept yourself for who are and if you want to change something about yourself, change it in a healthy way, but still be true to yourself and don't drop standards for anything or anyone and you won't need an alter ego...just a few wigs, a nice pair of hater blockers, and a tight mini dress to wear while you get down with the get down!

'Tis All.